okcupid messages disappear

Thank you all. When someone deletes or disables their account, or blocks or hides your profile, or is removed from the site, then your conversation with them will disappear from your inbox and their profile will no longer show up on the site. Like other mobile dating apps, OkCupid offers a swipe feature, where users are able to check out the profile of others and make a swipe left or swipe right decision based on what they like. The email system seems to have depressed any urge to respond, partially I think because there is a lot of confusion about how it works. I am a guy in his 30s in NY.

Don’t be afraid to ask your friends what they think of your profile for feedback.

Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. If enthusiasm isn’t returned with enthusiasm just swipe on, swipe on. Why did an intro/conversation disappear? I suspect that's the issue at play here. Also, one more thought which is to say that I really think the thing about women being inondated with messages on online dating apps is a myth. Female, midforties here. All posts copyright their original authors. Are you using the app? When someone sends you an introduction (a first message), it will be added to your Intros tab. When you look at the read notice on the message it says “read”. Based on your feedback, I think I have formed a better view on what is going on. OkCupid also has all of the benefits of a paid online dating site without the monthly subscription.

Maybe women who are super good looking, like Hollywood level? I’ve had other messages/people appear & disappear. Strangely, there are people on OkCupid who message random people to tell them things like, “I would never date a woman with children,” or “I can’t believe you voted for Donald Trump!” While these messages only make up a small percentage of the interactions on OkCupid every day, we want to cut them out completely.

I've been dating online for twenty years, so I've gotten used to recognizing patterns in site transitions.

No analysis needed. Cookies help us deliver our Services. Unless you "like" someone back, their message will not appear in your inbox- you only see it on their profile when you swipe though, or if you mutually liked each other. So, as a woman on OkCupid, I often will "like" someone I am actually unsure about so that I can save their message in my inbox to possibly look at later. i didn't find an answer in the FAQ and by reading in this sub, so i made this thread: i wrote a message to a girl, she liked me back and by that was able to receive my message. It's best to assume that things you post online, including in private messages, never completely disappear even when deleted. Scenario: You are a 30something man on Okcupid browsing profiles of 30something women. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. If they sent a message you can see it when you swipe though- OKC sends an email telling you that someone has sent you a message, then you can click on the link and swipe through, and when you get to their profile the message they sent you shows up. Most of the people on there actually want to date. OkCupid requires you enable Javascript in your browser. Now, when someone messages you, you can't read the message until you Like them. OkCupid messages may disappear because they user has unmatched you, they blocked you, or they simply deleted their profile. There is a lot of first person testimony here that this is often a case of interest level changing or low interest level in the first place despite using the Like feature. On both my message disappeared. I use app and website.

When I logged into okcupid on my laptop though, all the messages were there and I could see on his profile that we ‘like’ each other. And probably men who are Hollywood good looking have a similar experience. I often email women on OKCupid and start a conversation that seems like it's going well -- we are sending interesting, funny and flirtatious emails back and forth, we have definite things and common and stuff to talk about, they may have added me to their favorites -- and then they disappear and stop responding. From my experience, you can in fact read people's messages to you when viewing their profile, so I can't see how people would be Liking just to read an awaiting message (unless there is something I am mistaken about). Then two days nothing happened, because she wasn't online.

In my inbox i could see that she liked my, her profile pic was covered by a shiny star. @Farzad67696019 @okcupid incognito mode does not work, They have poor customer service, no phone and they are not replying to messages. It’s two people looking for “hell yes” and one discovering half way through that it’s more “eh” and moving on. 5 Things This Lady Learned From Sending Out 33 OkCupid Messages.

This is happening at a tremendous rate.

I do this. I just assume the app is buggy. When you receive the Like but no response, do you follow up? I've been pondering timidity in dating a lot, recently. I have a ton of these because I'm not available for dating right now as Life is Overwhelming and there are not enough hours in my day to exist, but occasionally OKCupid will send me an amusing note and I will think "huh, that person looks cool, I will metaphorically bookmark them in case life becomes less terrifying and they're still available". Not exactly true. All of these options result in OkCupid message disappearing. How can I stop feeling so sad/upset about men... Help me escape the mind f*ckery and move forward. I get way pickier upon second glance than the first one. There is no response to the message, ever.

I haven't been on OKC in a year, but even before they changed the messaging system I'd often hit "like" on guys who were in the right ballpark, but not actually the ones I was interested in, to try and train the stupid matching algorithm to at least weed out more of the guys who were definitely wrong. Why did an intro/conversation disappear? Ask MetaFilter is a question and answer site that covers nearly any question on earth, where members help each other solve problems.

We have a date tonight, so I was kind of surprised. OkCupid also keeps a list of all of the profiles you’ve liked in the past, so you can always go back and send messages after the initial like if they’ve liked you back. Then later you receive a notice that this person ‘Liked’ you.

It will be marked deleted, which means don't show it in the UI but it's still there sitting in the server's storage. You see someone interesting and send a quick “Hi Soandso, [add one or two line question about interesting tidbit in their profile here]”.

Your Conversations page will show all of the conversations with people you've Liked. I noticed today that a series of messages disappeared from my inbox in the app with someone.

Irresponsible tech companies are not only those who spread lies for money, it also can be irresponsible to promise and sell something broken. Good luck. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. It's terrible and I feel guilty that they went to the effort but usually it's that I'd "liked" the person when swiping but then upon receiving their message I go look at their profile a bit more closely and see that there is some dealbreaker that I hadn't noticed. At a minimum, the contents will most likely still be kept in a database somewhere. 04/20/2016 09:23 am ET Updated Apr 21, 2017 Keyboard with red heart on button, close-up By Jacqueline Raposo. OkCupid is absolutely, thoroughly dead, unfortunately. I've noticed that since OkCupid changed the email system I get no more emails. Join 6,449 readers in helping fund MetaFilter. I noticed today that a series of messages disappeared from my inbox in the app with someone. If you Like the profile, then the introduction will move to your conversations page. Why OkCupid hides someone after you send an introductory message to them; How to send an introductory message to someone; Intros! Then, faced with the choice between entering into a conversation with them and just not responding in the first place, I choose not to respond to save time. You're also getting users who have different experiences with the site based on whether they're mainly seekers or swipers, and whether they use a desktop browser, vs a mobile browser, or an app. When I logged into okcupid on my laptop though, all the messages were there and I could see on his profile that we ‘like’ each other. People aren't sure (justifiably) that their email will be read. Oh no! But i had the idea to look on her profile (found it in my browser history) and there it says "you like each other". So if … We have a date tonight, so I was kind of surprised.

Learn more We have a date tonight, so I was kind of surprised. It beats the hell out of a conversation actually starting and then vanishing halfway through because Life Is Overwhelming. I would do this because I'm theoretically interested but also disenchanted with dating, and exerting the energy to do anything other than swiping just doesn't feel rewarding.

I am typing this seconds before calling it a night, but I seem to recall a recent and controversial change in how OKC handles displaying messages. Low interest is definitely part of the equation, but the interface has absolutely played a terrible part in this.

When I logged into okcupid on my laptop though, all the messages were there and I could see on his profile that we ‘like’ each other. I’ve had other messages/people appear & disappear. Adding the anecdata that you are NOT the only person, nor the only GENDER, this happens to on OKC. I'm new to OKC and to online dating in general, and i don't really get the messaging system from okc. I wish i had discovered okc before they changed the message system.....i'm not getting any answers.

I noticed today that a series of messages disappeared from my inbox in the app with someone.

Ask MetaFilter is where thousands of life's little questions are answered. Does this mean she passed me or that she read the message? By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. I had a good conversation with a mutual like a few days ago and now not only can I not find the conversation but she's disappeared from my Likes list. And the real kicker? Did anyone else's conversations disappear?

I’ve had other messages/people appear & disappear. But yesterday evening the message disappeared from my inbox. Only conversations from early December and earlier appear in my list now.

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