Ibid., xvi. Our beloved Spice Girls were teaching us to scream “Girl Power!” and celebrate being girls. However, she left a book of memories in which she responded to prompts about her youth and married life. In order to relieve this pressure from women, the manifestations of patriarchy must be driven from women’s psyche as well as the economic institutions of this country. As a girl growing up, I never thought that I was in any way inferior to the boys in my classes. Heather Dean recently graduated with honors from Grinnell College with a major in history, Phi Beta Kappa. Or is "the patriarchy" specifically referring to only the negative aspects of a male-dominated society? However, we must also contend with the pressures of trying to cultivate a successful career in a society that does not have as vested an interest in that success. As girls growing up, we were taught to be independent, but to still orient ourselves towards boys as a source of happiness, as the ultimate goal. Or perhaps the "winner" of competing systems?
Evangelical Lutheran Education Association, Ethnic Specific and Multicultural Ministries, Lutheran Immigration and Refugee Services, http://www.naccrra.org/sites/default/files/default_site_pages/2012/cost_ report_2012_final_081012_0.pdf, http://www.naccrra.org/sites/default/files/default_site_pages/2012/ cost_report_2012_final_081012_0.pdf.
 In fact, this attitude towards marriage points to a shift in the philosophy of marriage dating back to Martin Luther himself, who elevated the institution of marriage beyond that of just an economic unit to a Christian obligation. Being single at age 22 could often mark you as a likely spinster.1 Like many women Madeline rushed into marriage because of World War II. One Masculinity vs Masculinities To the men reading this piece, if I were to ask you what makes a man? As girls growing up, we were taught to be independent, but to still orient ourselves towards boys as a source of happiness, as the ultimate goal. According to my mother, Madeline’s guiding principle for herself and her six children was “Keep Daddy happy.” This mantra also reflected how American culture in the 1950s stressed a woman’s place as deriving happiness from keeping her husband happy. bell hooks advises deemphasizing the search for romantic love in favor of creating “loving bonds, circles of love that nurture and sustain female well-being.”.
This is because the pressure to get married, the system of patriarchy, is not solely economically driven. I don't know.  Middle class white America viewed being a wife as such an immense responsibility and so time consuming that it was encouraged to be a woman’s sole vocation.
Christian theologians, inside and outside of the academy and pulpit, also have the ability to articulate theological insights that stress the importance of finding one’s full vocation outside of solely familial roles. In cities like Milwaukee, Minneapolis, Philadelphia, and Fort Wayne, marriage rates jumped 100% from 1941 to 1942. Coontz points out, “Today, even though most of the legal and economic basis for a husband’s authority over his wife and her deference to his needs are gone, we all have inherited unconscious habits and emotional expectations that perpetuate female disadvantage in marriage.”. The side effects of patriarchy go deeper into the female psyche, anchoring women’s self-worth in receiving love from others, particularly their romantic partners. However, it was not ready to fully commit to such ideas, still highly influenced by the patriarchal ideals of previous eras. Embedded in the article is the assumption that being content without a spouse is. It was not until the Depression in the 1930’s that the policy to fire teachers who got married was instituted, due to the idea that each household only needed one employed person to survive economically, and that married women teachers were taking jobs from unemployed breadwinner men. not staying home with him did not even occur to her. Women can then increasingly be regarded as individuals rather than as persons whose identities and ambitions are bound to their partners or their children.Conclusion Women’s anxieties today mimic closely the worries of our foremothers. Are there any positive effects of the patriarchy? While ridding society of patriarchal systems that are designed for a male breadwinner system, we must also dig deeper to remove the cultural pressure to find happiness in committed love relationships. Historian Stephanie Coontz describes this schism: The big problem doesn’t lie in differences between what men and women want out of life and love. This system prevents many women from feeling fulfilled without “succeeding” in marriage, despite successes in other endeavors.
Hours and lines of communication remain the same. Recognizing the tendency of many women to see their worries, including pain stemming from such crimes as domestic violence, as “their cross to bear” can also lead us to see how currently Christianity’s value on sacrifice rather self-actualization can hurt women.  Embedded in the article is the assumption that being content without a spouse is Ibid., xvi. Women now can pursue any career they wish—they are not dependent on a male breadwinner. Huffington Post. As a heterosexual woman coming of age in the 21st century, I am expected to have a career while also finding a husband and having children. Though American culture is full of rhetoric about gender equality, the American society is still rooted in the breadwinner model, making it very difficult for marriages to function with two working parents.  Madeline Northcraft, my maternal grandmother, passed away in 2000. I don't think anyone does.  Making a conscious effort to promote Christian teaching in the 21st century that puts new emphasis on discerning one’s own vocation and discovering one’s own God-given gifts is a way to begin to combat the soft power of patriarchy in our society. Patriarchy’s soft power enveloped society, molding men’s and women’s views on gender roles.  For more information on the expense of childcare in the United States see “Parents and the High Cost Of Child Care” A new call from within the Church advocating for the support of women as individuals, rather than framing them as wives or mothers, can help reframe the role of women in this society.  It was not until the summer of 2012 that a Disney-Pixar film—Brave—featured a princess who actively decided that she did not want to fall in love or get married at the end of the story. Making Marriage Work. Removing the societal pressure on women to marry leaves them free to explore their own paths and marry if and when they find it appropriate, rather than right after college or in their mid-twenties like all of their peers may appear to be doing. I continue to be aware and notice the subtle ways patriarchy is embedded in aspects of our lives and continue to have ongoing conversations through play with my son, to challenge these attitudes and expand his view that gender should not define our roles in society.  It was not until the Depression in the 1930’s that the policy to fire teachers who got married was instituted, due to the idea that each household only needed one employed person to survive economically, and that married women teachers were taking jobs from unemployed breadwinner men.
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